Memoirs Of A Phoneless Bugger

Dear Readers,

I finally got a phone after months of living without a handheld communication device a.k.a. a cell phone. It is a welcome relief from having to borrow friends' phone for making calls and getting the customary,"Balance nahi hai bhai" and the shocked expression that would follow the mention of the fact that I didn't have a phone that were similar to the expressions of a Rabbi meeting an uncircumcised Jew. But despite all the various obvious downsides of not having a phone, I survived quite harmlessly for more than 3 months (which to be honest seemed like a couple of years). I'm so amazed by how different one's life is just with the involvement tle plastic piece of awesomeness. 

It would be hard to imagine months without a phone when a single day without it leaves you completely handicapped.  But in my experience not having a phone is not all doom and gloom. You tend to be a little more relaxed and gives you an opportunity to notice stuff you wouldn't while you're glued to your phone. Not having a phone tends to make your conversations longer than the monosyllabic grunts that we give to acknowledge the presence of fellow human beings. We become so oblivious to the world around us that we wouldn't even notice a treasure chest if it was right in front of us. (There's a pun in there if you read with a little imagination) Remember the countless tales of phone engrossed people dying on the streets or on the railway tracks? Not having a phone reduces 1 threat to your life. (The half drunk style in which you cross the road could be the leading threat in that case). You also will learn is the value of being punctual. When you decide a rendezvous time and place you have to be there on time because you will have no way of letting the other party know you will be late. (Although in all likelihood they will be late themselves) You are free from the constant need to charger your phone as the dying battery shrieks for more energy to keep your Whatsapp lust lasting for those few more minutes as some poor helpless guy gets chopped repeatedly on the friends' group chat. Your lunch money doesn't need to get sacrificed on the bonus packs and top ups. The constant blare of earphones in your ears is replaced by the sounds of the city and nature all mashed into a mixture of sound that is so distinct that even David Guetta would have a hard time recreating it.

However this bed of roses too has its fair share of thorns. The amount of abuse I got just from my boss at SAMUN, Saar Rahul Jawahrani is unbelievable and with good cause too. Whenever there's a crisis people have to wait for you to meet them or call you from someone else's phone. You are left constantly on your PC trying to keep the Facebook channel of communication open in the odd chance that something urgent comes up. When the something urgent comes up it usually comes along with a "call me asap". To make that call you need to borrow your parents' phone and that opens a Pandora's box of questions. The people who need to contact you often end up asking you to buy 500 buck phones and question your every purchase other than a phone. A day after my birthday a friend of mine sees the new shoes gifted to me by other friends and goes,"These shoes are worth 700. You could have bought a phone in that much!"

All in all, I am over joyed at having a new phone but I will miss those moments of total solitude that Whatsapp just doesn't allow you. Guess that's all for today, folks! Wish me luck for my ongoing exams and pray especially that I pass Maths! Until next time, hwyl fawr!

Yours Truly,