Gods Don't Retire - Oh really?

Dear Readers,

As a great Legend of Cricket and India's Champion who has proven his worth for 24 long hard years, Sachin Tendulkar retires, I see my Facebook feed cluttered with tributes and testaments to the man that many of his fans consider a God. And even though I have a lot of respect and admiration for the man, this picture was the last straw for me-

God's don't retire?
Sure they do.
We are living in a Godless world where Mr. Sachin Tendulkar generates millions if not billions for the BCCI and all of that money benefits a hand full of people while a mere 450 million dollar Mars project is criticized but scams worth billions are forgotten in weeks if not days. The hungry stay hungry and the wealthy get obese.

Where are thee O Lord of the World? Do our laments not reach thee?

Or maybe we have reached the levels of moral erosion of past civilizations like the Greeks, Romans and the likes. How long before the Goths, or the Terrorists as we call them in modern times, come and loot our towns and take all that we hold dear and holy in their lustful hands. As they trample on our dignity, We will realize the hurt suffered by the rape victims whose numbers grow by the day if not hourly.

I write because I know it is the only thing I can do. Everyone can make a change. No. People with power can do that, but chose not to because the state of affairs suit them as they are. There is not a thing a 17 year old can do to make a change unless you are shot in the face by the Taliban (Malala. Google her. She is quite the inspirational story). And even then I see nothing coming out of the speeches made at the UN.

I do realize that I need to-

But hey I get to vent on this blog once in a while. Made it for that reason in the first place. 

In other news, this shit is getting famous these days..

So brace yourselves...

Until next time, dasvidaniya!

Yours Truly,

Memoirs Of A Phoneless Bugger

Dear Readers,

I finally got a phone after months of living without a handheld communication device a.k.a. a cell phone. It is a welcome relief from having to borrow friends' phone for making calls and getting the customary,"Balance nahi hai bhai" and the shocked expression that would follow the mention of the fact that I didn't have a phone that were similar to the expressions of a Rabbi meeting an uncircumcised Jew. But despite all the various obvious downsides of not having a phone, I survived quite harmlessly for more than 3 months (which to be honest seemed like a couple of years). I'm so amazed by how different one's life is just with the involvement tle plastic piece of awesomeness. 

It would be hard to imagine months without a phone when a single day without it leaves you completely handicapped.  But in my experience not having a phone is not all doom and gloom. You tend to be a little more relaxed and gives you an opportunity to notice stuff you wouldn't while you're glued to your phone. Not having a phone tends to make your conversations longer than the monosyllabic grunts that we give to acknowledge the presence of fellow human beings. We become so oblivious to the world around us that we wouldn't even notice a treasure chest if it was right in front of us. (There's a pun in there if you read with a little imagination) Remember the countless tales of phone engrossed people dying on the streets or on the railway tracks? Not having a phone reduces 1 threat to your life. (The half drunk style in which you cross the road could be the leading threat in that case). You also will learn is the value of being punctual. When you decide a rendezvous time and place you have to be there on time because you will have no way of letting the other party know you will be late. (Although in all likelihood they will be late themselves) You are free from the constant need to charger your phone as the dying battery shrieks for more energy to keep your Whatsapp lust lasting for those few more minutes as some poor helpless guy gets chopped repeatedly on the friends' group chat. Your lunch money doesn't need to get sacrificed on the bonus packs and top ups. The constant blare of earphones in your ears is replaced by the sounds of the city and nature all mashed into a mixture of sound that is so distinct that even David Guetta would have a hard time recreating it.

However this bed of roses too has its fair share of thorns. The amount of abuse I got just from my boss at SAMUN, Saar Rahul Jawahrani is unbelievable and with good cause too. Whenever there's a crisis people have to wait for you to meet them or call you from someone else's phone. You are left constantly on your PC trying to keep the Facebook channel of communication open in the odd chance that something urgent comes up. When the something urgent comes up it usually comes along with a "call me asap". To make that call you need to borrow your parents' phone and that opens a Pandora's box of questions. The people who need to contact you often end up asking you to buy 500 buck phones and question your every purchase other than a phone. A day after my birthday a friend of mine sees the new shoes gifted to me by other friends and goes,"These shoes are worth 700. You could have bought a phone in that much!"

All in all, I am over joyed at having a new phone but I will miss those moments of total solitude that Whatsapp just doesn't allow you. Guess that's all for today, folks! Wish me luck for my ongoing exams and pray especially that I pass Maths! Until next time, hwyl fawr!

Yours Truly,

Why I love MUNing, you ask?

Dear Readers,

I have not written for quite a while (no sir, saying good riddance was a little premature) but I'll get down to it and not mince my words. For the few know me, would also know how much I love MUNing and I have had a blast since I was appointed Director General of Saint Andrew's MUN (SA MUN) which is to be held at my own college, St. Andrew's College, Bandra. Coinciding with this appointment I was asked to write an article in the college magazine about my MUNing activities. As one very smart man once said MUN stands for "Marketing UNlimited" and so here I present an extract from the article I will be submitting for the College Magazine. Hope you enjoy it and a shout out to all my MUN buddies. Thank you for these months of awesomeness!

MUNs (Model United Nations conferences) are recreations of United Nations Committees wherein the Nations are represented by students who are the “Delegates” of their given country. You might not have heard of this but it is a global phenomenon that has caught on in our own dear India. We have global leading Universities like Harvard and Stanford and Oxford who host their own MUNs and are looked upon as the holy grail of many an MUNer (we use this term to describe a person who participates in MUNs.
To be honest, the first time I heard about an MUN was on the beloved TV sitcom “The Simpsons”. The character Lisa Simpson is depicted as participating in an MUN as Delegate of Azerbaijan and when one of my friends at Jai Hind College told me they were organizing one, I leapt at the opportunity to participate.

GLC MUN where I was (joint) youngest in committee and won Special Mention 

It all began at RCJC MUN at Jai Hind College in December last year. I went into the world of MUNs clueless and bewildered. I was Egypt in the Disarmament and International Security Council (DISEC). Well it was an embarrassment to say the least but it sparked an interest that has not dimmed since then.

No comment on the expression but this was taken at Podar Summit (I don't know why they didn't just call it Podar MUN)

That MUN was followed by 6 more bringing the total to 7. I’ve won 3 Special Mentions (MUN way of saying 3rd place) and 2 High Commendations (MUN style of denoting 2nd place) and narrowly missing out on being Best Delegate (The 1st place)  a couple of times in the process. But more than these prizes (which are appreciated since they come usually with some decent cash) this entire journey has been more than amazing!
I have learned quite a lot and grown, not just as an orator and a person of intellect but as a human being who makes an attempt to understand someone else’s point of view. I have been a delegate for a wide variety of Nations. From Egypt (twice)  to Qatar. From Qatar to United Kingdom. From UK to Russia. From Russia to India. From India to the United States of America. Every Nation has been a part of my growth. Researching for MUNs has taught me way more than what I had learnt in the years before I was introduced to it. The intellectual growth that one undergoes is tremendous and manifested in one’s speech and demeanour. It even helps in my academics. I usually take part in the ECOSOC (Economic and Social Council) at MUNs and this has helped me in my Commerce stream studies quite a bit. (P.S.- I research more for MUNs than I study..)

My first outstation MUN at Nashik MUN

The Social aspects of MUNs are an added bonus and attraction. Many a shy nerdy geek has transformed into a confident speaker after a couple of MUNs. Staying in session with a bunch of people you may have never met turn into mates you cherish long after the closing ceremony of the MUN. You meet people you wouldn't have met anywhere. I have met engineering students in economic committees and BMS guys debating on Human Rights. I have seen kids from the 9th grade rubbing shoulders with Post Graduate students and giving them a run for their money!

With Namit Sharma and Paras Chedda two good friends I made at MUNs

And it isn’t all doom and gloom in MUNs either. We have “Social Nights” which are basically like after parties. Not attended many of those but I’ve heard they are crazy fun.  Why talk about after parties? Within committee we have a lot of fun keeping aside the intense discussions and deliberations. We aren't allowed to talk unless it’s our turn to speak so we have to converse via chit. And the flirting that happens through chits, Oh My Word! And the jokes and innuendos are numerous in number as well!

TCET MUN 2013

All in all it is a totalitarian solution for integrating fun into intellectual activities. I am grateful that I was fortunate enough to have grabbed the opportunity when it presented itself.

Well that was all for tonight folks. Hope I get the time to get back to this blog that I love so much. Have a great time folks and do visit The Saint Andrew's MUN website. 

Till I write again, Auf Wiedersehen!

Yours Truly,

Celebrity Endorsements: A Gimmick for Product Pricing

Dear Readers,

I was fortunate to skip my exam today (It was Maths. Don't judge me). But instead I had a wonderful representing my college St. Andrew's at the Debate Competition organized by Rotary Club. Incidentally I won Runner-up Best Speaker. The cherry on the cake was that our Senior College team won Best Speaker as well as Best Team. Kudos guys and huge thank you to our beloved Raina Miss!

  
What I want to share with you guys today is the speech that helped me win 2nd place. Hope you guys like it!

Celebrity Endorsements: A Gimmick for product pricing

Good morning Ladies and Gentlemen. Today I shall speak against the motion at hand and emphasis the need that brands have for Celebrity Endorsement. And this is a dire need mind you. Ever since the Mad Men days, the ad industry has been using celebrities to endorse products. Chanel had Marilyn Monroe, Nike had Michael Jordan, Pepsi had Britney Spears, You may ask for deals closer to home so I’ll cite Amitabh Bachchan and Cadbury. Aamir Khan and Coke, and the list go on... Companies put in millions of dollars to get these famous and well-liked sponsors, but are it really worth it? Well since they have made billions in sales, don’t you think something was done correct?

The concept goes back to using credibility and attractiveness to persuade a point of view. Simple psychology tells us that if someone is appealing and trustworthy, it's easier to relate to them and be on their side. What an endorsee, the brand, is trying to do is transfer the positive traits associated with a celebrity to the product that the celebrity is endorsing. Also a brand is seeking to connect on a personal level with consumers to get them to identify with the brand by employing the celebrity status of “Stars” that the consumer holds in high regard.

But what I hear often is that Celebrity endorsements are a gimmick just to spike short term sales to boost stock prices. As you surely must have heard, “Every little move in the market is the cause for losing or earning million on the market each day”. I see the point respected proposition and I will counter with one question. What if a celebrity endorsement can earn you 1.75 billion dollars globally? And what if this endorsement is not a mere couple of years but is in fact 25+ years in existence? Will that convince you? Because that is exactly the stats by chosen example will display.

The best way to highlight this is to put before you perhaps the greatest endorsement partnership in sports, nay the entire marketing world is the evergreen Nike- Michael Jordan partnership. Jordan partnered with Nike after being drafted by the Bulls out of North Carolina in 1984. The original five-year deal was worth $500,000 annually, plus royalties.  

And He came along at a time when Nike, a struggling company, was suddenly willing to gamble millions, far more than had ever been gambled, on an untested NBA player, giving him an unprecedented deal before he had even played an NBA game.

“Nike turned its full efforts to marketing Jordan. Then suddenly he emerged as this amazingly athletic figure, wearing a shoe that was banned by the NBA.

People sometimes forget that part of the story. David Stern and the NBA banned the first pair of Air Jordan’s in 1985, just weeks before the start of the season, because they were completely Bulls red and black with no white on them. There is no better marketing endorsement than having the man say, “you can’t have it.” That shoe and that moment spawned today’s sneaker head cultureJordan’s play was the key. It started because of his athleticism, his “jumpman” dunks that went on to become the Jordan Brand logo. He could fly, and Spike Lee was yelling “It’s gotta be the shoes.” But everything grew exponentially as Jordan started to win and win big. He became the best player in the game and owned his generation, booming the popularity of the NBA.Also booming the sales of Nike and his shoes. Because everyone wanted to “Be Like Mike.” They paid Jordan so much, and his shoes sold so well that he essentially became a partner in Nike long before they officially recognized it. He became enmeshed in culture like no athlete before or after.And with him, so did Nike.

But I didn’t forget the stats I promised you’ll! The terms of Jordan’s current deal with Nike are a closely guarded secret, but royalties now generate more than $60 million annually for MJ. Nearly 30 years later, Nike owns the basketball shoe market. Owns it. When you factor in all the Nike brands — Nike, Jordan, Converse — you are talking nearly 95 percent of the basketball shoe market. Nike signed up current NBA stars Carmelo Anthony, Blake Griffin and Chris Paul, as well as non-NBAers like Derek Jeter and Nascar’s Denny Hamlin for the Jordan Brand. But the star is still Jordan and the Air Jordan franchise.
Celebrities are a short term thing? LeBron James is the top-seller among current NBA players with signature shoe deals, but Jordan outsold James by a 6 to 1 margin in 2012 in the U.S. That warrants an “in your face”!

And if you are not the type who is impressed with numbers but by sentiments and feelings, Michael Jordan turned 50 recently and yet his legacy and his shoes are such that when you talk to players coming out of college about their goals in the NBA, becoming part of the Jordan Brand family still comes up a lot. I mean with most of them. Players who were in kindergarten the last time Jordan won a ring.

What does this teach us? It is clearly not about just sticking a celebrity in a commercial. Just having a Ranbir Kapoor in your ad will not guarantee the Nissan Micra becoming the next Maruti 800. There is a need to build a brand and not just a commercial around the celebrity. Nike signed up Jordon before all his exploits in the NBA and sponsored him through hell and high water.

Sinking brands have been revived by the Midas touch of celebrity endorsers. Cadbury was given CPR by Mr. Amitabh Bachchan.  Coca-Cola decided to begin celebrity endorsements in India and the result was a ubiquitously appealing Aamir cheekily stating Thanda matlab Coca Cola. The recall value for Nakshatra advertising was only due to the sensuous Aishwarya. The Parker pen brand, which by itself commands equity, used Amitabh Bachchan to revitalize the brand in India.

I have let the facts speak for themselves (Using my mouth of course!) Brands do owe quite a bit to Celebrity Endorsements and it is the same the other way around. In this jungle of cluttering information being hurled at us from all directions, it is posters of David Beckham at Times Square that get more ogling eyes than most. Thank you.

Hope that wasn't very boring. Until next time, Hast La Vista!

Yours Truly, 

Disaster Management: India’s Preparedness

Dear Readers,

I have been away, busy with exams and competitions. So it is only fair that I share with you one of the reasons I was busy. In this post I will share with you a speech that won me 2nd place at an inter collegiate elocution competition this week. Hope you like it. And as usual feedback is more than welcome, it is appreciated.
Here goes.

Disaster Management: India’s Preparedness

We are not ignorant of what happened of what happened in Uttarakhand. We all know what a tragedy that was. I, Merwyn D’souza, will shed more light on the probability of such events in the future and how our Nation and the Government is most likely to deal with it.

Let me first say that the crux of my opinions here on in are based on a 3rd July article by the Times Of India Group titled, “Disaster management plans in a mess, govt admits”. This article was an absolute shocker in terms of absolute government negligence with regard to disaster management. It speaks of plans being submitted by the National Disaster Management Authority (NDMA) as far back as 2007 but the Home Ministry gave its usual lame excuses and blamed on a bureaucratic procedure.

But my dear audience, is this the kind of response we want to the horrific scenes we witnessed on TV during the Uttarakhand tragedy?  Is this the kind of attitude we want toward essential relief mechanisms. The issue is political of course but I feel the need to highlight an aspect that is often left unexplored. The social aspect. 

I experienced a tragedy myself in the form of the 2006 Mumbai floods. I was a kid in the 4th standard back then but it has left a last impression in my mind. I witnessed then a side to Mumbaikars that only manifests itself when we are in a spot of trouble. The caring Mumbaikar was on display on 26th July 2006 and I have seen glimpses of this caring side of the city even during the Terror attacks.

The issue at hand is of disaster management. Of how we can mitigate the damage in the aftermath. But before any government mechanism kicks in, it us - The caring neighbours, strangers, newfound Uncle, Aunty, Bhai and Bhen - Who comes to the rescue first. I have seen how ground floor residents in my building were driven to the upper floors of our 3 story building. We ourselves had not plenty in stock. After all nobody expects a floody out of nowhere, do we? But the improvised “Peas Pulav” that the Aunties of our building cooked up that night was a testament to how resilient a Nation we are.
In conclusion, NO WE ARE NOT PREPARED. not in the least for the natural disasters that Mother Nature throws at us. We are not relying on the Government to awake from its slumber being all drunk with its lust for power and money. But we the citizen are prepared to cook up our “Peas Pulavs” as loving fellow humans even though our Government doesn’t care.
Thank you.

So until next time, cheerio!

Yours Truly, 

 

Doctors v/s Businessmen

Dear Readers,

I'm back after a little break with something that I find interesting. I have had a longstanding debate (more like argument) with my friend from Podar, Miss Palak Sharma about who is more important, Doctors or Businessmen. This argument (I might as well drop the act of it being civil) has been so intense that we even quizzed random people at a Dominoes joint and that round went to Palak (There I said it!)

So as I was running out of topics I thought- Why not have this argument on a more public platform? So now I shall present the debate to you, dear Readers. Palak shall represent Doctors (being a medical aspirant) and I shall represent Businessmen (Being a Commercial aspirant){Is that even correct?}

So here is Palak's side-

Ahoy readers,Being a medical aspirant I’ve always had this protectiveness for my chosen career path. So, when one fine day some commerce kid comes along and questions its nobility and importance (referring to you here Merwyn), I consider it my duty to fight to uphold its dignity and honor.So now after hours of debating and arguing with no conclusion at all as both the sides are equally stubborn we leave it to you, dear Readers to settle our long standing argument.We’ve all heard of the saying “Health is Wealth”.One may have all the comforts and luxuries in life but it may all seem purposeless if one doesn’t have sound health.A doctor is the one who cures the ailing and distressed with utmost devotion, care and love. He/she is a savior and God to millions (Yes Merwyn, ‘God’). Hence, it is one of the most noblest and respected professions.A doctor studies for about 10-15 years because a scared look and a “let me Google that” isn’t what you want to hear from your doctor. But after so much of hard work including zombing through night shifts, enduring hours and hours of lectures, coming to peace with the idea of having absolutely no social life and accepting the company of disgusting, (hopefully) dead bodies, isn’t it a doctor's right to wish for, rather deserves, a more comfortable and luxurious lifestyle. So, why can’t he/she earn a little extra?In such a situation they become a doctor by profession but a businessman by necessity.“You may not be able to read a doctors handwriting on prescriptions, but you’ll notice his bills are neatly typewritten.”My point here is that commerce is everywhere and is a very integral part of our society.But the role of a doctor is also important as doctors ensure that you’re healthy enough to spend the money you earn.But finally, a doctor is a healer who extends his/her services selflessly and without any bias regardless of the apprehension about himself/herself catching up the infection. That’s why – The one in need is your doctor indeed (not a business man :P).And lastly here’s a suggestion to all,Never get on the bad side of doctors, as when they do turn evil they are the first among criminals, as they have the nerve and the knowledge.With that I rest my case

*Cue applause*
That was wonderful by Palak but my turn now.

"Doctors are God"
Leaving aside the sheer blasphemy in that sentence let me point out that I get it. Doctors play an integral part in society. The need for medical professionals is beyond reproach. The Hippocratic oath that they take is worthy of a standing ovation. But are Doctors in our modern time really keeping true to the oath that they take?
The Doctors have forgotten their roots. The personal touch in the doctor-patient relationship has evaporated. There were the times when we had "Family Doctors". Now the Doctor knows not the family by face but by the cash they are willing to spend. Where has their conscience regarding "carrying the profession forward" gone? It is part of their oath for heaven's sake! At least a businessman is consistent.
The sole aim of business is to earn profit. Though it may seem a selfish goal at first glance, we must remember that it all boils down to the money. These businessmen are the ones who rack it in. They maybe sitting in their mansions but they sprinkle around the joy in the form of jobs, charity and overall market stimulus.
Consider this- A nation full of sick businessmen is not going to be good but a nation full of health people with nobody leading them in the financial sector will be equally disastrous.
Lets me conclude with, a doctor spends all those years studying medicine but in the end he turns into a businessman and tries his best to rake in the money! Might as well be open about it, embrace the Dark Side.

This, my friends, is where we leave it for your consideration. Expect more of Palak Sharma's craziness on the blog because she is hilarious, is she not? So till I'm back next time to bore you again, Peace out.

Yours Truly,

A Hat-Tip To Heroes Of "Yours Truly"

My Dear Readers,

I have reached a 1000 pageviews and what I noticed is that it isn't about the pageviews anymore. It is about writing my thoughts and emotions and also being up to the mark for my loyal readers who have truly stuck it out with me! So here is to another 1000 followed by another!

But being very honest, the real heroes are you dear Readers.  But there have been a few specific people who have encouraged me to keep going. Without whom this would be just another anonymous blog on the internet to be read by few and recognized by none. These people's contribution to the blog has been far beyond content and words. Theirs has been the role of motivator and inspiration. Here is a tribute to them.

I started out as an angry young man

Plagued with frustrations, nowhere to vent
The concept of a blog dawned on me
And thus began "Yours Truly,".

A random rant here and there
The occasional thought put down
My name wasn't associated with them
This crap, none should know is mine

I don't know what changed
I had the urge to share these private grumblings
Another one who wrote some killer stuff
Ayesha, thank you for the push to go public, Ma'am.

Then came time to post on Facebook
The time to know if my incoherent talk could garner interest and appreciation
Among the ones who really knew what good writing was
And with that Special One too.

The reaction to it was like being hit by a truck
The good kind though that makes you high
Positive feedback flooding in
Hoover dam wouldn't be able to hold back this nectar to my ears.

Special mention to Minny, my little sister
That sweet Facebook message was my pride for that entire week
And to Palak, you crazy medical aspirant
thanks for your constant encouragement but Commerce still kicks ass!

Writers I have known many
Few of the caliber of my first corroborator, Meghana
A person who recognized not my mere words but the emotion they enshrined
"Insecurities" was all your work and thank you I cannot enough.

The numerous others who I cannot recall due to my weak memory
My gratitude toward you all is immense and deep
If not for the frequent feedback, encouragement, charges of being sexist,
My memory of the blog too would have been foggy.

My topics I chose were the ones that were staring me in the face
Ones I thought were the obvious "elephants in the room"
But down the road you the Heroes please step in and guide me
Writer's block has been known to be fatal, you know.

Continue I sure will, onward and upward
Know not where I am going to land but the journey begins here
But if ever I end up with my life remotely resembling success
I thank thee, My Heroes.

And there ends another of my pathetic attempts at poetry. The sentiments expressed though are sincere. i think I will get too emotional if I continue. So till next time, Auf Wiedersehen

Yours Truly,

An Ode to Poverty

Dear Readers,

I usually rant in prose but I've decided to give poetry a try. Let me clarify up front that this poem doesn't rhyme. But my intention was to make it emotional. Hence in the flow, I didn't bother with punctuation, for which I apologize right now. This being my first attempt at poetry, I beseech you all to give me feedback on it.

A poor child lives his life
dreaming of the city lights
all the while in his heart
his dreams of being the guy
who drives by the slums
with those pitying eyes.

Oh the misery of the slum
the fight for survival
food isn't easy to come by
a diet is maintained not by choice
the growl of his stomach
now a familiar sound.

He spends his days daydreaming
education he hasn't known
the meager wages for his work
the heavy, manual kind
proud he would be of his slim body
if only he knew that it mattered.

The bin nearby he scavenges
his treats, the waste scorned on
by those with plenty
his heart fills with scorn
for these wasteful fools
Abusing the plenty that they have

Back his mind is drawn to food
the lack of it in his case
he wants to satiate the monster
that resides in his belly
never does it seem to have enough
never it ever has

He has known the existence of satisfaction
on the countenance of the rich
possess they do
all that he desires
a roof over his head
a square meal a day

Education he knows nothing of
its simply a rich people's thing
here in the slum that counts for naught
the only knowledge that matters
is how you will fill your stomach
and not get killed or jailed in doing so.

The most he can hope to achieve
is to be a sidekick to the local ruffian
he seems to be the best fed around
his stomach growls again
its an apt reminder and testament
that birth played a cruel joke on him.

His mother died giving birth
to the fourth mouth to feed
in his little hut
the alcoholic that his father is
knows not even the names
of the kids he fathered

In his gut he knows even now
his life isn't destined for greatness
a stomach filled
a house to live in
that's his dream
An Ode To Poverty

Hope you liked it! More importantly I hope it illicited a little emotion. Hope to hear from you guys.

Yours Truly,

Football. The Game of.

Dear Readers,

Most girls never get the special affection we men have for football.

"Not just do they roll around in the muck, sweating like pigs and chasing that stupid ball for no reason; But these silly boys stay awake late to watch other jobless guys do the same on TV"
A variation or part of this statement has been uttered by all women at some point in time. (Don't lie girls. The truth is in the open now)

But guys, they won't get it even if we break it down to them. Not because they lack the intellect to understand it; rather because what we feel about football is not rational in the first place. The Mind of a football fan is common to find but difficult to understand. What attracts us to this sport of kicking around a ball towards opposing ends of a field for no reason? What attracts us to watching other guys doing the same thing in another country on the TV?

Well, Life and the best it holds never tend to be rational! Women, kindly explain the rationale behind gossip and window shopping? Isn't gossip a mere relaying on hearsay that we cannot even rely on being true? Isn't window shopping a waste of time, downright? But yet women will love their daily dose of gossip and window shop the crap out of Zara?

Sure there are the girls who play football too. The ones who are as much a football fan as you could hope to find. And there are the guys who, I have a suspicion, have had an estrogen infusion. The ones who do not play football during the P.T. period and opting to sit out and gossip.

But still I haven't gotten into the mind of the Football fan.

The appeal of Football lies in its simplicity. It reminds us that life is not only complex bullcrap. Chasing the simply joys, that's the good life. Football is perhaps the cheapest sport and the one with the least requirements. (Just call you friends and ask them to get the ball). The need for officiating is minimal. The violence is automatically regulated because as soon as it gets violent, the game mostly ends because somebody ends up hurting the sentiments of the owner of the ball! The competition just among friends is so palpable and yet after the game these same guys who wanted to "bajao" the ball into each others face are now laughing and fooling! The stupidity of the ball going into the gutter (Flashback to "The Revolution Is Often Incomplete") is followed by the ingenuity of getting it out. Football is just a great release.

But Supporting our respective Clubs and adopted Countries is a totally different matter. (Notice how I tend to refer to the club like I'm a part of it? We tend to do that)

The Clubs we support are chosen not by us but a force we have no control over. I started supporting Manchester United as soon as I heard the name back in 2006. I didn't know that this was a major club with some of the best players and a prestigious history. The name. That was all I needed to fall in love with Man Utd. And the same can be said for nearly all fellow football fans.

The Clubs we support take on a near divine standing in our lives and our devotion to them has religious overtones. Every match is like our weekly mass and every player in our club is a man sent by God. Every word against our club is blasphemy and must be vehemently argued to the last bit! Even if we have no case, we argue it like there's no tomorrow. ( Liverpool fans, that is actually true about you'll not having a tomorrow only a rosy yesterdacade! ) But why do we do all this? Because it gives us a sense of being a part of something larger than ourselves. Somewhere we belong. Clubs are a constant in an everchanging world. Sure the players change. The manager changes (quite often for some clubs) ( *cough* Chelsea *cough*). But the constant is the club is always there. Through thick and thin. Relegation or Championship. All it asks for is loyalty. And the choice of which Country you support just follows club preference. (I wonder how many kids outside India can name even a single Indian club or player..)

But the Football Fan will never lose hope for Indian Football......... JUST KIDDING! Its very unlikely we will ever make it.
So till then the English and Spanish and Italian and Brazilian guys will keep us entertained! (Special Mention to Portugal. CR7 <3)

Here I rest.

Yours Truly, 

My Opinion on Corruption

Dear Readers,

"Sir, Please help us sir! My son has not got the highest but it is good percentage, sir. But why no seat in your college sir?"
He gets the following reply~
"Whaat to do sa'ab? Seats are a few but students are so many! I would love to help but..."
The father is desperate for a quick end to the admission agony (Every college student knows about this particular torture!)~
"Please sir! Just tell me what I need to do."
The reply is as expected~
"Now how to tell you sir.. The College needs little money for renovation.. If you are willing to donate a little, maybe a seat might open up"

The rest is very obvious to guess isn't it?

When we think of corruption it is so very easy to preach that we are the ones fueling the monster of corruption. We are the ones making the greed well up in officials with power. The offer for the bride does need a giver after all, doesn't it? The Official did not bribe himself, now did he?

But is it this cut and dried? Is it so easy to curb the demand side of corruption? (High five to the Commerce kids who understood that!) Is it so easy to resist offering a bribe and getting into the college of your choice? Or getting your passport done a week early? Or have your paperwork pushed through the bureaucracy of the Indian governments lax system that works slower than a snail?

In my opinion, I ( or Anybody having a need) am justified in giving a bribe!

Before you start with the "Need to resist/Integrity of the citizen/Being the Cause" speech, let me give you my reasoning behind that statement.
We have a screwed up system in place with regards to governance and administration. Nobody can dispute that. (People on the government's payroll do not count!) We know for a fact that if we go to a government office, our papers will get stuck on "some desk" along the way to completion and a Twenty Rupee note is needed to budge it the off the table to the next. On the other hand if you don't, you will be made to wait forever. Its simple logic. Time is money. Twenty Rupees are not worth 2 hours. Spend the note, spare the hour.

The expectation that people will not give bribes is delusional unless the system is changed. Unless I know for a fact that I will be judged purely on merit and not on my father's name, I will be left with no choice but to buy a seat.

The government is obligated to bring about the change. The people of the Nation need to push for better accountability so that we do not have to rely on money but our own potential and abilities. This change can be the Lokpal Bill. Or it could be a new government. But it is the need of the hour.

Yours Truly, 

The Unknown Triumph of Prevention

Greetings Dear Readers,

When we think about success the images in our minds are often of fame and glory. Money and wealth. That is the definition of success in our minds! (In light of our education system, I'm surprised we have some kind of definition in our minds!) But the often underrated aspect of success which  is the most important, the path to success. We often simply let this crucial part out of our minds. (This, is thanks to education system)

Considering that we are trained to see only the sensationalized pieces of news, we tend to filter information that come our way into broad categories some of which are ~ "Someone died! :O" ; "Someone embezzled money! :@" ; "an important measure to protect us but  I don't care, because its ultimately a conspiracy to take away my money from me!" . Our views and opinions on issues are based simply on how the media portrays them.

I'm sure many of use have heard Russell Peters at some point. (Hilarious guy, he is) But there is this one piece where he talks about the media's misrepresentation of Arabs. He talks about how, whenever the media talks about Arabs they follow it up with a violent image (Boom Bang Kapow!) hence making our minds link Arabs and violent behavior. (Which is exactly what you think about Arabs, don't you?)

Truth be told we cannot comprehend the idea of prevention as well. Let me illustrate with an example.

Let us assume that a couple of days prior to the attacks of 11th September 2001, we had a small town-bred  US Senator with Presidential aspiration who manages to get a Bill passed making cockpit security even more stringent. (This would prevent the terrorists from hijacking the planes and redirecting them toward the World Trade Center) Since the attacks wouldn't take place we would never realize how crucial this Bill would have been!
Not only would he not be appreciated enough, he might have even got penalized for his brilliant work! This measure would cost the aviation industry quite a bit of cash implementing the measures and this in turn would cause him to have have enemies in influential places. His Presidential aspiration might as well get tanked.

A Hero is not even recognized!

We have the same issue with insurance. We buy insurance and at the end of the term we are like,"Damn! Nothing happened! What a waste of money!" (It happens the other way round too,"The damn place got robbed because I got it insured! What a waste of money!)

We have no clue about the variables that control our lives (We probably know about our favorite celebrities' wardrobe, than we know of our own lives!) and yet we actively protest steps to mitigate risk. We have taught our kids that "Prevention is better that Cure" and yet our entire economies are ticking time bombs waiting to blow up in our faces, mostly due to lack of regulations! Our sense of security we hold so dear, and yet we curse the government going through our emails trying to prevent the next terror attack.

Our logic is skewed beyond reason. It ceases to be logic and turns into aimless rebellion.

There ends my rant.

Yours Truly,

"Things We Control" Part 2

Greetings Readers,

I want to present to you further analysis to a previous piece of mine titled "Things We Control". To those who haven't read it I will give you'll a gist of it.

"Things We Control" was about how we overestimate your own attempts to control our lives. It further proposed that we are given direction to lives by random events like our birth, and are just pushed along by a mixture of time and place. A logical inference made from this was that your decisions are inconsequential. I think that I should further highlight this aspect of the topic as it is very debatable.

A very strong defense to this misunderstanding that our decisions don't mean anything in the "bigger picture". In fact, common consensus is that single events are often of no consequence to our lives. What difference does it make if you chose Science or Commerce after the 10th grade? (If you chose Commerce, High Five!) Does my involvement in the Fight Against Corruption really matter? (They didn't really accomplish much anyway, did they?) Does my vote in a local election matter? (Since all candidates are equally screwed in the head)

If you closely analyse your own lives a realization comes forth. One person's decision is very important but it holds more power when it is put into the context of the decisions of the people around him/her.

Lets begin with our career choices. Our decisions are based on our abilities and job requirements, etc. But we rarely take into account the number of existing and projected professionals in the same career. Simple logic. More competition there is in a field, the harder it is to make it in that field. The current fashionable choice is management. We have people flocking to do courses like BMS. But 5 years down the line there is going to be a number of Management graduates but a limited number of management jobs. Sure these graduates are smart enough to adapt but why do a course if you know that it will be difficult down the line? (This is not to say that Management is not a good choice, I have kept it as a choice too, but merely to highlight that the herd mentality is at play here and our own control has been lost)

Next I move on to social causes like the Lokpal movement. The initial responses to this movement was overwhelming. But when they decided to move the movement to Mumbai, it went limp. In August at the height of the movement the attendance at Mumbai gathering were really high but a mere 4  months later we have a loss of interest with attendances not even 10,000. What happened here? Did people lose interest? (Honestly, the stunt that Ramdev dude pulled at Ramlila maidan in Delhi really put me off the whole thing) Were people scared of the government? (In the sort of "Let's Make The Change" attitude in the air at the time I don't think this was an issue) I think people got too frustrated with the lack of actual difference the Movement made. We couldn't bear to see our attempts at controlling the government bringing little to no effect! This time, "Control" was a mass illusion.

Talking about our right (and duty) to vote, that is the closest to actual control we can have when it comes to our government! That's all I have to say on that for now.

To further emphasis, let me introduce you to the concept of "Alternate Histories". Imagine at every point in your life where there was a decision involving multiple viable options, the world split into as many universes where all possible possible options play out. Basically, there are parallel universes where your life is panned out totally different just because one choice you made was done differently. I think I've spoken enough for now and will further propound on this in a later piece.

For now I take your leave, dear readers and hope to have you'll grace this little blog again soon.

Yours Truly,

The Revolution Is Often Incomplete

Greetings Readers,

This Sunday I was playing Football with a couple of friends and the ball went in the gutter. After a rescue operation of the likes seen in "Black Hawk Down" we managed to get the ball out. Needless to say it was still filthy. So we had to get it washed out. Our solution? Roll it around in almost equally mucky water on the road!

Often we are quick to realize that there is a need for change. The need to clean our footballs that have fallen into the gutters of the world. But with what do we clean our balls (That was not intended!)

 The revolution is always simmering on the back burner ready to boil over. We know when its time to replace the old with the new because it has outlived its utility. But an often under reflected aspect of any revolution is "The Replacement"/"The Aftermath"

Lets take a reflective example. Imagine a coffee stain on the table in your house (All women- I know your tables are always clean. Please Imagine) Now the first thought in your head is not "Let me find a 'CLEAN' cloth to wipe this". You think, "I need a cloth". The cleansing element is very rarely examined.

You see, we often rush to make the change but never consider what will take us in the right direction I can provide you a number of examples but I will satiate my excitement by providing you just two.

The first is very recent. In 2011, the regime of Hosni Mubarak was overthrown in Egypt.

The causes were pretty obvious. The people were suffering at the hands of a corrupt and inefficient government. A revolution happened (Shit got real) and "Mubarak Ka Shok Ho Gaya" (Hindi wordplay. Indian in me couldn't resist) He was replaced by the 'democratically elected' Islamist Mohamed Morsi.

He led Egypt to a golden age of prosperity and growth and stability. Oh wait! That is not what happened!

 If anything the situation went from bad to worse! Economic stagnation and recession, Increase in poverty and malnutrition, led people with no choice but to protest again (within a space of merely 2 years). Another overthrow has taken place and Egypt is currently in a sort of political limbo.

The second example is from the Age of Revolutions, to be more concise, The French Revolution. The great reforming agent of the modern era. It is the turning point in history that actually brought the people to power. But what was among its numerous aftermaths?

After the Revolution the control of the Committee of Public Safety passed to Maximilien Robespierre (Who was your average blood thirsty sadist with a special liking for the thud of severed heads) He executed about 16,500 by guillotine and another 25.000 in summary executions throughout France. All this on the accusations of "anti-revolutionary" actions.  (Not being involved in the revolution was reason enough) This period in the Revolution came to be known as "The Reign of Terror".

 This is a quote by the man himself, Robespierre ~

 "Terror is nothing else than justice, prompt, severe, inflexible."

This Reign on Terror ultimately ended with Robbie having his own head rolled (guillotined, cut of, severed, I've run out of verbs!) by his fellow reformers who found him to be a little to extreme (I wonder what made them arrive at this conclusion?)

In conclusion,

"The Replacement is more important than the Revolution by itself"  

On that note I bid thee adieu!

Yours Truly, 

Love. (The stuff in Movies)

Greetings Dear Readers,

We often wonder how little kids in the 7th and the 8th grade are "dating" these days. (I wonder what their "relationships" even entail) I often wonder if these kids are taught this crap at school. (Ok that couldn't happen at my Alma Mater. We cannot spare time from football and bunking at school) Where did the innocence like that from the pic below  disappear?

So where do these kids get the idea of dating when they have not even hit puberty properly! These kids are not sexually motivated. (I sure hope they are not.) The only true love in their lives is for their Parents. (For me BeyBlades and Cartoon Network came a close second) The opposite sex at this point is not an object of admiration but rather of scorn. Girls couldn't stand guys and the guys hated the girls with the same vigor when I was a kid. Girls were pretty low on our To-Do list (Pun intended)(Girls, stop rolling your eyes)

So what changed from our times of angelic innocence (we were naughty but innocent) to this time of... well lack of it!

The obvious answer is the amount of sexually charged imagery around them. Now its not like we did not have romantic stuff in our childhood. But in our days one kiss at the end of the movie was a huge scandal to us! That's how our minds worked! Kisses were "Eeeewwwww...!!!" (If you weren't this kind of kid, I have a fair idea what sort of movies you were into) But how has our cinema reached here?

There is a feeling that if a movie in our times doesn't contain some kind of racy, sexy sub-theme it will not run successfully. Think about it, how many songs can you recall that are not about love or lust or sex? How the hell do we expect kids to not pick up on these things? We never seem to think of this as a huge leap because our cinema disintegrated gradually.

We started out (in the Black an White Era) with female actresses not showing a square inch of skin (And yet managing to captivate viewers with their charm). These "heroines" refused to even touch male actors. Steamy  scenes were out of the question but the romance was very much alive! This was followed by the age of Western influence on Indian Cinema but it was still in control. The dresses were colorful and fashionable (for that time. Women these days would puke) and yet retained a sense of dignity. A little touching was allowed but it was cute but really sexually charged. In fact, leading heroines refused to do item songs which led to the rise of "Item Girls" (I can almost hear the guys thanking God for this). And then we had a shift to the absolute commercialization of movies, where directors and producers willingly sacrificed the art aspect of film making to  gain a few extra bucks by having the female actresses shed extra clothes on screen and have a couple of sex scenes that do not have anything too do with the story.

I'm not saying that our movie industry has transformed into the pornography industry. All I'm saying is that this is not what good Cinema is. It gets REALLY uncomfortable trying to watch a movie on the TV with your parents these days because the number and  intensity (I'm not really sure that is the right word) of the scenes is anyone's guess.

In conclusion, I feel that it's high time we tone down the sex in our movies and let kids enjoy the innocence we once enjoyed ourselves.

Just a reminder to you folks. The android app version of this blog is now on the Google Play store. Search for "Yours Truly".

Yours Truly,

Insecurities

Dear Readers,
Over the course of my life I never had the pleasure of having met a person like Meghana Kamat. I have known her for not even a month but she possesses the exact same insecurities as Yours Truly. I was fascinated by how much better than me she was able to voice out these "irrational fears". After a Facebook chat that really made my day (Not just day, my entire month!), I convinced her to contribute in her most articulate manner to my humble little blog. Thank fully she agreed and here, I present to, you my first collaboration piece. Hope you guys enjoy it and please use the contact form on the side to let me know how you felt about it.

We all have insecurities, emotional ones, and sometimes, they're really hard to hide. Sometimes, you're afraid of rejection, of being lonely. Sometimes, it’s the fear of being laughed at, of being dismissed as inconsequential, as a joke. Sometimes it’s the deep abiding fear of being less than everyone else, of being inferior to those around you. And the worst part is you know yourself that these insecurities are REALLY stupid but they still find a way to be your biggest concern. You have friends, but sometimes they don't understand you, and think of your fears as random bouts of silliness, or a case of passing morbidity. This incomprehension.. this feeling of not being understood.. really hurts, especially when you try to explain to them why you're so upset, why you feel estranged and out of place. You feel as though you'll never fit in, and that no one will ever accept you. No amount of effort on your part seems to convert your emotions into something they will understand. When you see your friends, peers or acquaintances being so very compatible with their social contacts, sharing everything, from their innermost secrets to random acts of stupidity, everything of both consequence and in-consequence (and everything in between)  You wish that you were a part of it, that you could do the same. Are you asking for too much? Have you changed? Or have they?  But when you find yourself unable to function on the same social level as everyone else, you come to the conclusion that something is wrong with you. The majority of the world can fit in with each other, so that means, if you're the minority, some screw is loose in your head or in your heart  It's all your fault. You can't blame people for not understanding you when there is obviously some mistake in your own genetic code. This leads to rifts in what were once tight friendships, schisms in old groups, except for the fact the line is drawn between you and the rest, instead of "Us against the World". You suddenly are not part of an "Us". You see your friends being happy, and you're jealous. Jealous, not of their achievements and abilities. You still love them the way you did before. The jealousy is of how they make their social interactions seem so effortless.  But then you're ashamed of yourself for even simply feeling such a blasphemous emotion and draw away from the world so that they're not tainted by your corrupt nature. You are almost afraid that the might read your mind and be disgusted by your pathetic borderline narcissistic thoughts  You really want to have people notice the crap you are having to endure but you don't know how to get it across. You dream up situations, create scenarios in your mind that will create the perfect set up for you to paint a vivid picture of the highly volatile nature of your feelings.  You do everything keeping in mind that someone is watching. You conduct yourself in such a way that someone will notice, will realize something's up, ask you what's wrong, and then you play out the entire scene. Something will happen, you'll respond, the other person will react, and the entire scene unfolds perfectly (down to the direction of the wind and the exact temperature)  But they never pan out exactly, Ever. Never. The perfect outcome only happens when it happens in your head. These feelings are not true, never have been and never will be. And you know that these thoughts are indicative of attention seeking problems, of inferiority complexes. Events that prove these thoughts knock you into a never ending, ever tightening spiral of self loathing and misery. You feel that you must be a good person because you realize that the disgusting and involuntary thoughts of jealousy and anger are wrong, but then, because you notice it, you start making judgments on yourself from it and that always end with the realization that you must again be a terrible person. However, the fact that you even got yourself to concede that you are a horrible person again makes you good, and so on, in an everlasting circle of confusion. 

This, dear readers, is the world a person ridden with insecurities lives in. And the insecure individual often isn't able to express himself in a manner as articulate as this.(Yet it might not do complete justice to the darkness that are insecurities of our fragile personalities)

I would especially encourage feedback on this piece as I recognize this is a little different from what I usually do. And a HUGE shout out to Meghana who is the one who wrote nearly all of this piece (that I hold very dear). Yours Truly is very indebted.

Also I have an announcement to make. A friend of mine, Nathan Neal Dmello (Who has a solution for all problems related to the computer) has very generously made an android app for this humble little blog. It is on the Android market and you can use the following link to it~ https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.rssappmaker.ayourstru308&feature=search_result#?
Or search for "Yours Truly". Any Feedback, queries or even rants are welcome. Use the contact form.

Till I write again.

Yours Truly

The Need To Care (give a F#@*)

Dear Readers,

What makes us human? Apart from our ability to cause destruction and be among the few species who know more about killing than about giving life.
Well in my opinion one of the leading factors that makes us human is our ability to Care. (In more present terms our ability to "Give a damn/F###") We are known as a "Social Species". We are the species who managed to come together and conquer Nature and have stamped our authority on the planet despite being a relatively younger species.

But are we losing this trait of humanity? Are we becoming less Human?

To be honest, it is very difficult to care in this modern day and age. The helplessness of situations we see each day of our lives has desensitized us to these horrid scenes. Poverty is just another aspect of the nation we have come to expect wherever we go. (We are prepared with a 2 Rupee coin as soon as we stop at a traffic signal that you know beggers frequent!) We take corruption for granted because it easier to pay 10 grand under the table, than spend our precious time and money on this lost cause. (We will support an Anna Hazare and the Lokpal Movement  from the comfort of our homes and give our valuable opinions and ideas to him through our television sets)

But this piece is not on such issues that will take a larger movement to tackle. My views are about smaller things. My concern is that we have stopped caring in our relations with the people in society around us. We don't care about national issues because we cannot (or feel that we cannot) make a change on that front.
 But what about the reduction in social contact and the evaporation of politeness from our personalities?
What about the amount of useless attitude we throw around (and we do it without even knowing it sometimes)?

Why have we reached this point? What changed from a time in the past where people had cool stuff like "Manners" and "Concerns" and "BeyBlades"... Oh sorry! We have shifted from a social structure that involved a lot of personal contact to a social structure that has almost no personal contact! We shifted from social meetings, telephonic conversations, handwritten letters to text messages and emails that do not have as much personal contact. We just don't have the time. We have studies and work.

Sure, memes like these..

..May give you a laugh but give a thought to the scarcity of "F###s" in the world. We really should try to increase the world supplies of this rare commodity of "F###s" Because we will in the near future reach a point in time when you would want one yourself, but not have any offered to you.

So that's my rant for today. Goodbye till my next piece. 

Yours Truly, 

Do We Really Want To Know What They Are Up To?

Greetings!

Often I hear panelists on TV demanding absolute transparency into the works of the government. The Nation seems to want to know what is the next conspiracy the Government is hatching to keep the cool stuff off public domain (Cool stuff like Who killed JFK?; Did we REALLY land on the Moon?; What was really found at Roswell? What is the Secret of Victoria's? Where is the Chamber of Secrets? Is Karan Johar straight?). The list of conspiracy theories will never end!

But where did this begin? What made the Government have a secretive approach to some aspects of its duties? Are they justified? I'm not really an expert on it but I have one view to justify the governments right to a certain amount of secrecy in its operation. Let me give you an example from my world of economics.

Imagine a bank has a few investments which go south (suffered losses) and they need a bailout to salvage their market existence. So they approach the Central Bank(which is basically an extension of the government)  and ask for a bailout package. One of the first conditions put for it is that the bailout be a secret.

Why keep it a secret? Shouldn't the depositors of the bank know what's happening? Do they not deserve to know their money is in trouble?

Let me introduce you to the term Bank Run. When people who have deposited money in particular bank, have reason to believe that the bank is going bankrupt, all of them rush together to withdraw their money. So basically if the bank was having just a minor credit issue, it will now face full blown bankruptcy!(Utter and Total!)

Loss of the depositors' faith in the bank only causes it to lose the rest of its meager cash reserves and will end up putting it out of business, taking down with it the confidence of the market. In this case, the leaking of the Bailout news screwed the economy over. Just an economic issue that most people didn't even understand, caused them to cause an economic fallout that affected them adversely!

Now imagine the reaction people would have to the news of the existence of extraterrestrial beings? They would totally lose it. People would try to stockpile and people would run helter skelter. Law and Order (Not that TV show folks!) would be a thing of the past (very much like that show!) Anarchy would be the order of the day, without doubt! And you still want to know?! 

So basically when you get all titillated hearing of exciting conspiracy theories the best course of action is...

Everything isn't a conspiracy and trying to fabricate one (though entertaining) is not the solution. Conspiracy (worldwide ones where we stand to die) are best enjoyed in our favorite novels.

That's all for now folks! Till next time, Cheerio!

Yours Truly,